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chain letters
January 2008 
Spam Rant
Posted on Dec 6th, 2007
by 
Mistress Heather
Mistress Heather
Who came up with this word? SPAM? I thought it was spiced ham, Hawaii's state meat...I'm utterly fed up with the amount of Spam I have to wade through. Does anyone with a brain in their head ever order any of the shit that comes to them through spam? Because if you need any sort of pharmaceutical from Canada, From Viagra to herbal enhancer's to make your manhood every woman's desire, I can hook you up! If it is a personal puss you need...have a virgin every night!...if you need diet pills or software, I know, I know, I know, where you can get all that! If it is a MEGADIK you want, I can hook a brother up.
I don't want a single person to tell me how I can buy software to eliminate the spam either. I'm not paying shit so someone else can filter my fucking e mail. There is only one way to stop the insanity. Charge for e mail. I can choose my level. Level one: X numbers of e mail a month, Level 2 XX numbers of e mail a month. Make the mother fuckers pay and they won't be able to send free advertising to me anymore. The number of e mails I send in a month is minimal compared to the bizillion that the megadik, personal puss people send. How the hell did I get on their mailing lists? My "real" e mail address is androgynous and you can't tell if I have a penis or not, I guess they assume that if I don't have one, I have something to do with one somewhere. I guess I should shut up and just delete, delete, delete, 200 times a day or more. You have won the lottery and it has been deposited into an offshore account, just send your every vital bit of info and we will make you rich!
I get so sick of the pass this on to your friends etc bullshit. So and so has Cancer and needs your prayers. It is the cyber chain letter that especially gets my dander up. Send this to 20 people you love....or, want to prevent from having your identity stolen...or Santa Claus won't come, sign this petition for world peace. Kiss my lilly white southern ass. You are creating more spam you idiots when you perpetuate that crap! My e mail address is attached to that and what a juicy thing for a parasitic search team of spammers to find. Leave me off your list assholes!
I feel better now. I might have something to add later, but for now, I've let it go!
I don't want a single person to tell me how I can buy software to eliminate the spam either. I'm not paying shit so someone else can filter my fucking e mail. There is only one way to stop the insanity. Charge for e mail. I can choose my level. Level one: X numbers of e mail a month, Level 2 XX numbers of e mail a month. Make the mother fuckers pay and they won't be able to send free advertising to me anymore. The number of e mails I send in a month is minimal compared to the bizillion that the megadik, personal puss people send. How the hell did I get on their mailing lists? My "real" e mail address is androgynous and you can't tell if I have a penis or not, I guess they assume that if I don't have one, I have something to do with one somewhere. I guess I should shut up and just delete, delete, delete, 200 times a day or more. You have won the lottery and it has been deposited into an offshore account, just send your every vital bit of info and we will make you rich!
I get so sick of the pass this on to your friends etc bullshit. So and so has Cancer and needs your prayers. It is the cyber chain letter that especially gets my dander up. Send this to 20 people you love....or, want to prevent from having your identity stolen...or Santa Claus won't come, sign this petition for world peace. Kiss my lilly white southern ass. You are creating more spam you idiots when you perpetuate that crap! My e mail address is attached to that and what a juicy thing for a parasitic search team of spammers to find. Leave me off your list assholes!
I feel better now. I might have something to add later, but for now, I've let it go!
Access: Public
I can SO relate!!! I have an androgynous name… Kelly is common in both male and female…. so they assume BOTH… luckily I use gmail which filters SO many of those….if you'd like I can get an invite to you for gmail … their filtering is phenomenal! Only a rare few junk mails get through. :) I love this rant though… we've all experienced it!!!
Yeah! I am so with you on this! My business address besides getting a hundred valid emails a day, was getting over 7000 spam emails a day. My ISP shut off my mail server because they couldn't handle it anymore. I've taken some agressive steps to curb it, and it's down to only a couple of hundred. I just wish I knew how they found out I had such a small member, suffer from ED, and my SO wishes I were bigger…have they been reading my blogs?
omg, please don't anyone suggest paying for email!!!! Bite your tongue, then pierce it and get some of those so-cool fruit wrap tongue tattooes…wait, I've strayed from the topic.
Yes, gmail, or any other email client with a decent spam filter, is the solution. I don't have any spam issues with several different gmail accounts. And I can't imagine what those people are thinking either, I mean, is someone really buying this stuff?
It's sort of like those guys who hoot at you on the street and make suggestive comments. I always want to ask them if that ever actually works for them, but then, just like spam, I just (mentally) delete them instead…
Princess Mistress Heather,
you say it like it is, Lady, and you make me laugh.. there are few gifts as good as that.. when I first got online in 2001 I signed up for lots of newsletters and such related to my business (videography) and interests, such as martial arts, outdoor skills, etc. always answered age and marital status questions….soooo… middle aged, divorced gent… guess what that meant to me.. yup… viagra, porn site membership offers, offers to invest in porn sites, info on HOT and READY women supposedly waiting just down the street for me to call… like rapunzel said.. delete, delete, delete
What really irketh the Prince is the demeaning of that noblest of all whole, complete foods, the REAL staff of life, SPAM ! ! ! You can have your truffles, your tenderloins, your milk fed veal sweetbreads, in my pack, as i canoe the wilderness, I'll have SPAM… i will not delete ! ! !
You go Mistress! I think someone should write a song entitled “Rant-on spam, delete delete … ” or something. I'm at about 150 per day. The category of spam that I detest the most are those that say “You're a winner … click here for … “ Hell, I know I'm a winner, so why do I need to click for my winnings … just bring it to me “unconditionally.”
I happened to see a lot of the spam on you email when you had left your had left it on the screen while I was at your house one evening… geeze-louise … overwhelming
Yaaah you let it rip for all of us. I was laughing so hard reading your rant. –I got the hiccups. Thanks ffrom all us who have to put up daily with all this crapola. Hey, you forgot the Rolex watches.
The CBC did a amusing documentary on SPAM. I guy answered all the ads. Guess what? those penis enlargers DON'T WORK, unless you want a long THIN thing. Bad News,eh
Today, I got the St. Theresa prayer for the 1100umpteenth time. Puuuuleeeease! Time to get tough.
What is gmail?
heheheh…could not resist! DON'T BREAK THESE CHAINS! Well..you'll see why!
CHAIN LETTER FOR MEN ONLY
This letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and
discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost
anything.
Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally
tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife or girlfriend and
send her to the man whose name appears at the top of this list, and
add your name to the bottom. When your turn comes, you will receive
6,255 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you
already have. At the time of writing this, a friend of mine had already
received 184 women, 4 of who were worth keeping.
Remember - this chain brings luck. One man's cat died, and the next
day he received a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. You can be lucky too,
so DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN One man broke the chain and got his
own wife back.
CHAIN LETTER FOR WOMEN ONLY
This letter was started by a woman like yourself, in the hopes of bringing
relief to other tired and discontented women.
Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy
of this letter to five of your friends who are equally as frustrated - then
bundle up your husband, boyfriend or lover and send him to the woman whose
name appears at the top of this list.
When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,877 men. One
of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have.
Do not break the chain. One woman broke the chain and got her own SOB back.
At this writing, a friend of mine already has received 184 men. They buried
her yesterday. But it took three undertakers 35 hours to get the smile off
her face.
Please hurry up and send this letter along, so my name can move up faster.
(Now may I remove my lips off of your lilly white southern ass?) HAHAHA